Thursday, November 6, 2014
Woke up at 6:30 and went for a short jog around the block to wake up. Took a shower and started my day at 7:30. I started reading through True Colors, which I haven't looked at since mid-September. I don't have a lot of changes for this manuscript, but will reposition a few items that should come in earlier as setup material. Right now these details are buried in the middle of the novel.
I ran into my neighbor Rex at the Starbuck's down the street while editing a few chapters. We had a great conversation about writing, comedians and how the hard part starts once the manuscript's finished. I was probably told that many years ago, but didn't believe it. Now I do.
In the afternoon, I talked with my racquetball partner Dorian on the phone for about 90. We've had the most amazing conversations about race, white male privilege, and the system. Dorian feels the race issues have gotten much worse lately and it certainly feels that way. It's as if there is no healthy means to engage in conversation the way Dorian and I can with such ease and trust. It's a gift we have that goes beyond our natural chemistry as partners in the racquetball court. We're brothers. It's sweet. I asked him to put a dollar amount on what he felt was the cost of white male privilege over the course of an 80-year life. I wanted to hear the number that came up for him. My number was somewhere in the tens of millions of dollars. His number was somewhere in the hundreds of millions. He lost out on a $400 million HUD project in 2010 in Louisiana because of his race, among other things, so that's where he's coming from.
The tentative title of my non-fiction proposal is called "The Emperor Wears No Privilege: One White Male On Race." Part memoir, part essay and reflections on the past 20 years of race in this country and how race has impacted my life, I'll share the story of my own white male race awakening that began in the summer of 1996 when I was featured in a PBS documentary on race relations called "Facing Racism." I was the white male in that show and it transformed how I see myself, this country, and the problems of race, racism and white male privilege that we either confront and acknowledge or deny and reject. I understand the perspective of the deniers because I used to be like them, walking through life with blinders bolted to my eyes. I still don't see everything, which is why so many friends who are not white males who help me see what I miss. The bolts on my eyes are be gone, so I see enough to acknowledge that being a white male in America protects me from having to deal with harassment, racism and obstacles on a daily basis. It doesn't mean my life is perfect and I've been given a free ride, but there's so much nonsense out there that does not affect me at all, simply because I'm a white male. Acknowledging this, sharing my experience and using the tools I've learned to participate in conversations about race in a healthy, functional manner is what my proposal will be about. There's so little material about race out there by white males. Why would there be. Most white males have no idea how race affects them, and most have no desire to engage in a topic that brings up so much fear and anxiety. So, so, so much of what we do in this country is governed by fear.
Tonight was the racquetball finals at my club and I enjoyed being a spectator this time while Tyrone and Steve went at it. The first game was amazing. Steve was down 2-8, then took a smart timeout. He rallied back to tie the game at 8, then fell behind again 10-14. Both guys were playing great, getting everything, hitting the ball low, playing smart and executing well. Steve dug deep and tied the game at 14, then got the winning point to take the first game 15-14. Steve then went on a tear and scored 15 unanswered points, taking the second game and the match 15-0. All Tyrone could do was shake his head. I told T after the match, "Welcome to my world." Steve's being playing so well lately. I'm going to have to come up with a new racquetball formula to take this guy next season.
Woke up at 6:30 and went for a short jog around the block to wake up. Took a shower and started my day at 7:30. I started reading through True Colors, which I haven't looked at since mid-September. I don't have a lot of changes for this manuscript, but will reposition a few items that should come in earlier as setup material. Right now these details are buried in the middle of the novel.
I ran into my neighbor Rex at the Starbuck's down the street while editing a few chapters. We had a great conversation about writing, comedians and how the hard part starts once the manuscript's finished. I was probably told that many years ago, but didn't believe it. Now I do.
In the afternoon, I talked with my racquetball partner Dorian on the phone for about 90. We've had the most amazing conversations about race, white male privilege, and the system. Dorian feels the race issues have gotten much worse lately and it certainly feels that way. It's as if there is no healthy means to engage in conversation the way Dorian and I can with such ease and trust. It's a gift we have that goes beyond our natural chemistry as partners in the racquetball court. We're brothers. It's sweet. I asked him to put a dollar amount on what he felt was the cost of white male privilege over the course of an 80-year life. I wanted to hear the number that came up for him. My number was somewhere in the tens of millions of dollars. His number was somewhere in the hundreds of millions. He lost out on a $400 million HUD project in 2010 in Louisiana because of his race, among other things, so that's where he's coming from.
The tentative title of my non-fiction proposal is called "The Emperor Wears No Privilege: One White Male On Race." Part memoir, part essay and reflections on the past 20 years of race in this country and how race has impacted my life, I'll share the story of my own white male race awakening that began in the summer of 1996 when I was featured in a PBS documentary on race relations called "Facing Racism." I was the white male in that show and it transformed how I see myself, this country, and the problems of race, racism and white male privilege that we either confront and acknowledge or deny and reject. I understand the perspective of the deniers because I used to be like them, walking through life with blinders bolted to my eyes. I still don't see everything, which is why so many friends who are not white males who help me see what I miss. The bolts on my eyes are be gone, so I see enough to acknowledge that being a white male in America protects me from having to deal with harassment, racism and obstacles on a daily basis. It doesn't mean my life is perfect and I've been given a free ride, but there's so much nonsense out there that does not affect me at all, simply because I'm a white male. Acknowledging this, sharing my experience and using the tools I've learned to participate in conversations about race in a healthy, functional manner is what my proposal will be about. There's so little material about race out there by white males. Why would there be. Most white males have no idea how race affects them, and most have no desire to engage in a topic that brings up so much fear and anxiety. So, so, so much of what we do in this country is governed by fear.
Tonight was the racquetball finals at my club and I enjoyed being a spectator this time while Tyrone and Steve went at it. The first game was amazing. Steve was down 2-8, then took a smart timeout. He rallied back to tie the game at 8, then fell behind again 10-14. Both guys were playing great, getting everything, hitting the ball low, playing smart and executing well. Steve dug deep and tied the game at 14, then got the winning point to take the first game 15-14. Steve then went on a tear and scored 15 unanswered points, taking the second game and the match 15-0. All Tyrone could do was shake his head. I told T after the match, "Welcome to my world." Steve's being playing so well lately. I'm going to have to come up with a new racquetball formula to take this guy next season.
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