Friday, August 25, 2017
This morning started innocently enough. Nicole, Gwen and I had breakfast on the 3rd floor of the Hilton. Breakfast was a large buffet with all sorts of stations with Indian and western choices. We could have pancakes, omelets, waffles, a dozen or more Indian dishes with rice, lots of breads, fruit, juices, tea, smoothies -- it was extensive. We had a big, delicious breakfast for 45 minutes or so until Mathew and Greg appeared on the other side of the breakfast area. This was the first time Gwen had seen Greg since January. She left to smoke and Mathew apparently went with her to talk. I hung out with Nicole for a bit, then joined Greg and his brother Zeb and his family and a few of Mathew's groomsmen for round 2 of breakfast. It was nice hanging out with everyone, talking about the wedding and hearing everyone's stories of India (some had traveled around the country the week before).
Nicole and I went to her room and found Mathew and Gwen in a frantic, heated conversation with Gwen in tears and full of drama. Nicole got what she needed, then joined me in my room. Mathew texted me that Gwen wanted to talk to me, so I went back to her room 15 minutes later. Gwen was an absolute wreck. She was upset that Mathew was ignoring her when he and Greg went to breakfast this morning. Mathew was upset that Gwen used the "f" word in front of Rathna's father the night before (as in, "Mathew, I don't want my f$#%ing picture taken" when we exited the airport). Gwen was freaking out and losing it emotionally. She wanted to go home. She didn't want to be here. She wasn't sure she would be able to stand next to Greg all day tomorrow. She was a mess. I let her yell and scream and carry on, figuring she needed to get it out of her system. Then I told her she couldn't leave. She was in India for five days and there was nothing anyone could do about it. She could choose what to participate in and what to blow off, but I reminded her that her choices carried consequences and if she blew off duties for the wedding, Mathew would hold it against her. She went on and on about how selfish and disrespectful Mathew was being. I reminded her that Mathew's sole job was to make sure Rathna was happy. Everyone else was low on the totem pole. She got it after 20 minutes and did her best to get it together. Nicole entered the room by this time and also worked on lifting Gwen's spirits. The women had a breakfast function that Gwen and Nicole needed to leave for in 20 minutes. Gwen worked on getting the puffiness out of her eyes. She was only half successful. Once they left, I returned to my room and hung out with Tristan for a few hours. It was really nice catching up with T. He has a girlfriend named Tara and is still working really hard for a small company in Philadelphia through Work for America. We played one game of crib which was close all the way. I won by one point.
I rested, then went with Mathew to a cash machine next to the hotel. I took out 4,000 Indian Rupees. We then went to my room to play a game of cribbage and hang out. It was nice having a little alone time with Mathew. He was stressed out about everything but also very calm and matter-of-fact. While playing cribbage, Mathew received a phone call from Rathna. She told him to apologize to his mom because he was thinking about Rathna's mother over his own. Apparently, Gwen was telling everyone who would listen how disrespectful Mathew had been toward her and how unhappy she was with everything. She was creating a lot of conflict at Mathew's expense. Mathew said he'd apologize, but when he got off the phone he just shook it off. He was learning firsthand not to provoke the monster. You can never beat the monster when provoked.
Later in the day, Tristan, Mathew and Nicole were in my room hanging out. Nicole talked about the brunch for all the women attending the wedding and how vocal Gwen was with her displeasure toward Mathew. Nicole tried calming her down but wasn't very successful.
Nicole and Gwen attended another event in the afternoon. They went shopping for Indian clothing with a few other people and when Nicole returned to my room later in the evening, she told me how badly Gwen had behaved, how rude she was with the store help and how she was still throwing Mathew under the bus. It sounded really bad. Gwen was in her room by this time and Nicole slept for a few hours on my bed while I jotted down a few notes about the day. Eventually, I FaceTimed mom and Jill and asked how to best deal with Gwen, who was really out-of-control. We came up with a plan whereby Gwen would participate in any event she wanted to participate in, but wouldn't be forced to attend any event she didn't want to be part of. It was up to her how she wanted to interact, but if she chose to participate she had to behave herself and not say anything negative or off-putting. I didn't really go to sleep during the night, but maybe caught an hour's sleep the next morning at 5.
This morning started innocently enough. Nicole, Gwen and I had breakfast on the 3rd floor of the Hilton. Breakfast was a large buffet with all sorts of stations with Indian and western choices. We could have pancakes, omelets, waffles, a dozen or more Indian dishes with rice, lots of breads, fruit, juices, tea, smoothies -- it was extensive. We had a big, delicious breakfast for 45 minutes or so until Mathew and Greg appeared on the other side of the breakfast area. This was the first time Gwen had seen Greg since January. She left to smoke and Mathew apparently went with her to talk. I hung out with Nicole for a bit, then joined Greg and his brother Zeb and his family and a few of Mathew's groomsmen for round 2 of breakfast. It was nice hanging out with everyone, talking about the wedding and hearing everyone's stories of India (some had traveled around the country the week before).
Nicole and I went to her room and found Mathew and Gwen in a frantic, heated conversation with Gwen in tears and full of drama. Nicole got what she needed, then joined me in my room. Mathew texted me that Gwen wanted to talk to me, so I went back to her room 15 minutes later. Gwen was an absolute wreck. She was upset that Mathew was ignoring her when he and Greg went to breakfast this morning. Mathew was upset that Gwen used the "f" word in front of Rathna's father the night before (as in, "Mathew, I don't want my f$#%ing picture taken" when we exited the airport). Gwen was freaking out and losing it emotionally. She wanted to go home. She didn't want to be here. She wasn't sure she would be able to stand next to Greg all day tomorrow. She was a mess. I let her yell and scream and carry on, figuring she needed to get it out of her system. Then I told her she couldn't leave. She was in India for five days and there was nothing anyone could do about it. She could choose what to participate in and what to blow off, but I reminded her that her choices carried consequences and if she blew off duties for the wedding, Mathew would hold it against her. She went on and on about how selfish and disrespectful Mathew was being. I reminded her that Mathew's sole job was to make sure Rathna was happy. Everyone else was low on the totem pole. She got it after 20 minutes and did her best to get it together. Nicole entered the room by this time and also worked on lifting Gwen's spirits. The women had a breakfast function that Gwen and Nicole needed to leave for in 20 minutes. Gwen worked on getting the puffiness out of her eyes. She was only half successful. Once they left, I returned to my room and hung out with Tristan for a few hours. It was really nice catching up with T. He has a girlfriend named Tara and is still working really hard for a small company in Philadelphia through Work for America. We played one game of crib which was close all the way. I won by one point.
I rested, then went with Mathew to a cash machine next to the hotel. I took out 4,000 Indian Rupees. We then went to my room to play a game of cribbage and hang out. It was nice having a little alone time with Mathew. He was stressed out about everything but also very calm and matter-of-fact. While playing cribbage, Mathew received a phone call from Rathna. She told him to apologize to his mom because he was thinking about Rathna's mother over his own. Apparently, Gwen was telling everyone who would listen how disrespectful Mathew had been toward her and how unhappy she was with everything. She was creating a lot of conflict at Mathew's expense. Mathew said he'd apologize, but when he got off the phone he just shook it off. He was learning firsthand not to provoke the monster. You can never beat the monster when provoked.
Later in the day, Tristan, Mathew and Nicole were in my room hanging out. Nicole talked about the brunch for all the women attending the wedding and how vocal Gwen was with her displeasure toward Mathew. Nicole tried calming her down but wasn't very successful.
Nicole and Gwen attended another event in the afternoon. They went shopping for Indian clothing with a few other people and when Nicole returned to my room later in the evening, she told me how badly Gwen had behaved, how rude she was with the store help and how she was still throwing Mathew under the bus. It sounded really bad. Gwen was in her room by this time and Nicole slept for a few hours on my bed while I jotted down a few notes about the day. Eventually, I FaceTimed mom and Jill and asked how to best deal with Gwen, who was really out-of-control. We came up with a plan whereby Gwen would participate in any event she wanted to participate in, but wouldn't be forced to attend any event she didn't want to be part of. It was up to her how she wanted to interact, but if she chose to participate she had to behave herself and not say anything negative or off-putting. I didn't really go to sleep during the night, but maybe caught an hour's sleep the next morning at 5.
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