Saturday, April 15, 2023
Yakima, Day 2
The memorial for Fritz Weresch began at 1 p.m. It lasted until 3:30. It was emotional, touching, poignant, sad, and in a way somewhat transformative. I haven't been to a memorial like this for someone who was only 18 when he died. What's lost is a life that's just getting started. At 18, my life felt so full and rich, so varied and complete. I had no idea how underwhelming it would be with an additional 40 years tagged on. By all accounts, Fritz was a sweet and glorious young man who loved life. The pics in the program suggest as much. The entire high school marching band paid tribute with their presence and a few pieces. Wes was masterful as the master of ceremonies. I will need to stay connected with him for the rest of our lives. A few speeches were unforgettable. Fritz's best friend Gavin said, "...Fritz was not a saint. Fritz was a human, and I think it's very important to make that distinction...Fritz was complete with all the good and ugly that makes a human being...Calling Fritz a saint is omitting half his characteristics. That isn't just a lie, but it's selling Fritz short." Wow, that's really something. Brilliant. And Jillean said, "I was technically with you to your end and that is unfair. And I find things increasingly unfair as I keep looking at them. The time you didn't get to spend with your mom. You didn't get to graduate. You just turned 18. The whole thing is unfair. That is how life is. And I always feel so numb and unsure how to go about grieving you. And no one ever talks about it because I feel like a broken machine without you. You made my motions turn and kind of put me on kilter that no medication or therapy could ever do, no friends, it was you. And like I don't know, like I was okay before you, and I was like great with you, but now I don't know what to do...not talking to you kills me every day, still. Like knowing and being there without you kills me...I will always continue to love you, even if one day I like move on and find somebody else -- doubt it, I really doubt it -- you will always be my first love. And I consider it that way because I loved you more than anything else. And I loved and depended on you. And I don't believe in the afterlife. I don't believe in anything else, and I know that it's a sensitive topic and I understand that, but if there is like reincarnation or an afterlife I want to continue to meet you in every one of them, because you were so special..." Wow. That's a gift. I hope Jillean keeps a journal, is writing every day and eating books for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
After the memorial, we ate lunch inside the high school cafeteria. Found a few of my favorite snack food items there. Fritz and I similar in so many ways. We both love Nacho Cheese Doritos, but then again, is there anyone on the planet who doesn't? Sat at a table with Shar, who told me all about why Dr. Fauci was worse than Satan (or maybe even is Satan). I just listened and ate my mac & cheese.
Took a break later on at the hotel and watched Game 1 of the Warriors Kings series, then headed back to Cascade Gardens where I chatted with Wes's brother Jonathan and his wife Jen, then stayed up very late with Eileen and several of Fritz's friends who were all telling hilarious stories. I didn't go to bed until 1:30 a.m. Late for me.
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